Busineering

I made it up. It means engineering busy-ness. Okay, that’s not a word either but you get the point. Busineering is the term I gave to a phenomenon I had fully intended to blame on society, my generation and the ‘times we live in’ so on and so forth.

I’ve acquired, as have many people, myriad ways of keeping busy. So much so that I have trouble limiting my focus to just one thing. My mobile phone doesn’t leave my side. I have at times been on my computer, mobile phone and iPad simultaneously.

I can focus but it’s in minute increments or, as is the case with Twitter, 140 characters at a time. These small interruptions can ultimately suck up huge chunks of my time that could have been used for something else, something meaningful, like writing, which I love and hope to do full-time one day. It makes me cranky to feel that I can’t relax because of my unrelenting need to stay on top of these things but I can’t seem to bring myself to stop doing it.

I’m not talking about self promotion. That’s at least useful and purposeful and I have been doing some of that in trying to get my writing career off the ground. It’s the other stuff. My dishes pile up but my email inbox is squeaky clean.

As I so often do, I posed a question to myself:

Why do I feel the need to keep up with the distractions and why do I continue to allow it to happen?

I thought about it, in minute increments, over the next several days until my brain lobbed the question back at me in a completely different way:

What is it I’m trying to avoid?

Darn it. I hate it when my brain does that, even if it is kind of cool when it does. I was looking for something outside of myself that I could blame for why I was forced to mercilessly and constantly waste my time.

Some would say all this busy-ness (yes, I said it again) is to avoid connecting, as in having actual human contact; I am a loner and an introvert after all. But aren’t I connecting when I text, Twitter, email and Facebook? Yes and no. I am, just not in a personal, face-to-face, you-look-in-my-eyes-and-I-look-into-yours kind of way. I suppose I could change some things, a phone call rather than an email. Instead of belonging to an online writing group I could join one at my library. I could take an English class at the local community college.

Truth is I don’t know exactly what I’m trying to avoid although trying to avoid washing the dishes seems a perfectly valid thing to do.

In a lot of ways I’m still processing the question and getting different answers depending on whether I apply it to work, writing, relationships or self-improvement. I’m taking a small measure of solace that the light went on and hopefully it will keep getting brighter.

For now, I’m turning off my mobile phone.

Well, maybe I’ll just mute it.

Advertisements

~ by Karen Miraz on January 11, 2013.

3 Responses to “Busineering”

  1. This is so “Right On” for just about all of us in one way or another…

  2. Amen – and so eloquently written. What’s the draw of Farmville etc for me? I can waste all day, and not care. Now that I have 8 different farms, imagine the time I’ve spent developing them. It’s crazy!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: